This past week I did a brief interview for Care2.com, about vegan parenting. With some of the controversy that arose with the “Vegan Is Love” book, I was asked a few questions. They posted the piece yesterday.
Today I read this comment that was posted to the article. This person said:
“What I have noticed most with all the vegans I have met or seen (including the photo of the author of this article) is their skin always looks prematurely wrinkled, extremely thin or exceedingly pale, usually with dark undereye circles, probably from iron deficiency.”
Can I speak to this, folks? I did leave a comment on the article, but really want to elaborate here. That photo was taken as part of a family photo shoot just 2 or 3 weeks after our third baby was born. 3 WEEKS! Anyone that has had children knows that 3 weeks pospartum, you look and feel like crud. And, not only was our baby up about 5 times through the night (and had reflux), I had two other children to take care of during the day – and also had in-laws visiting at the time. So, forgive me if I have dark circles under my eyes and some age-appropriate wrinkles, I had a lot on my proverbial plate. And, I was 39 at the time.
And, I had a few wrinkles. What 39 woman doesn’t? I don’t mean women in Hollywood. On that topic, when Jennifer Lopez was named “the most beautiful woman in the world” last year, I thought “wow, now 40 year old women have that standard to live up to“.
She doesn’t look 40 on this cover. I would like to see Jennifer without the special make-up and lighting and photoshop work. I know she is still beautiful, because she IS a beautiful woman. Here, however she looks more like a beautiful 28 year old than 40 year old.
I just need to say this because I’ve been “out there” for more than 10 years now. I know that being a visible spokesperson for living vegan, and being a vegan mom, I will always be judged on my appearance – because my photos are on the internet. It’s very hard, and like I said in my comment, I try to judge my health by how I feel. And most days I feel pretty damn good. Most days. I am a mom of 3 with no extended family support, that is also running her own career without much assistance. So, my days are full-on, and there are no vacations or weekends.
I work hard because I am passionate. But, alas, I am 41, so I won’t look 30. I think I look pretty good for my age, but also I feel very good for my age. (Excepting these occasional judgemental comments, that is.)
As women, we are judged FAR more on our appearance than are men. It is unfortunate that women take so much judgement for how they look – rather than being judged for what they contribute.
Finally, to address the issue of iron. It is a gross misperception that vegans are anemic. It has been shown that “iron deficiency anemia is no more common among vegetarians than among the general population“. If you are eating foods like dark leafy greens (kale, collards, bok choy), beans and nuts and seeds and other varied whole foods, it is not at all difficult to obtain the iron you need on a vegan diet.
(p.s. I write this today not to seek compliments or reassurance – we all enjoy such positive feedback, but that is not my intention. Rather, I want to speak to the unreasonable and unattainable expectations for women as they age – and the equally unfair judgements placed on vegans.)
Gena says
Well said, my superhero friend.
When I started my blog, I was *so* nervous about any and every bit of feedback on my appearance–a phenomenon that was made worse by the fact that it took me years to gain weight from my early 20’s relapse into my ED, and I was a little bit thinner when I started writing than I am now. Well, you can imagine the backlash and commentary! So upsetting for a woman who was proud of actually having moved past her disorder.
Beyond that, I’m always afraid of whether or not I’ll look tired, pale, or whatnot when I’m out and about. Over time, I’ve gotten better at not thinking about this too much, and remembering that I have never advocated veganism as a shield against the realities of life. Vegans get tired, catch cold, get wrinkles, get viruses, and they even sometimes get far graver diseases. Our diet does provide great health, but we are also human beings, and thus subject to the ravages of errant microbes, mutating cells, and plain ‘ole fatigue. Some raw foodists like to promise eternal youth through diet, but I never do, and neither do you, because we’re far more realistic and honest than that. xo
Dreena says
Gena, how I love what you’ve written here. Thank you SO very much for contributing that. YES, we are human, and as I type this I am just getting over a cold (GASP!). 😉 And, I’m not at all surprised with how rundown I’ve felt this week from a number of stressors. I’ve always believed that eating a healthy vegan diet can help us live healthier and give us more protection from many illnesses, but it doesn’t make us invincible!
And, I am so sorry that you had that experience on your own blog. It can be harsh to take the judgements of others, particularly when they seem to have no filter sitting behind a computer screen. I know your readers are grateful that you had the courage to continue, with the knowledge, experience, and inspiration you now bring. xo
Natalie says
I’m new to your blog but am so glad I came across it! First off, I am in my mid-20’s and would love to look like you! Either now or in 20 years. It really bothers me how women’s appearance gets dragged into the vegan debate. Can’t we just focus on how the diet makes one feel–that is–absolutely fantastic and alive?
And I completely agree with you for wanting to raise your kids vegan. It is not some kind of religion as some see it. It’s just a different way to eat, focusing on plant foods. Some see it as a type of belief system or an ideology, but really it’s just a diet, nothing more and nothing less. Of course, it’s possible to tie it to moral beliefs, but not necessary. Hopefully the diet will become more mainstream and people will be a bit more accepting.
Dreena says
oh heavens!! That’s awfully nice, thank you Natalie. Thank you for sharing your insights as a woman, and also your thoughts on parenting as a vegan. I think because we are covering ground as a vegan community, we are getting some resistance – because there has been a lot of growth in the last few years. Thanks for your note! 🙂
Joyness Sparkles says
Hello, I stumbled upon your website by accident and after reading this article, I am so glad that I did! I appreciate real women who stand up for other real women.
Much appreciation, I am a new follower! 🙂
Dreena says
Thank you for that sentiment, and I hope you enjoy my posts. 🙂
Kimmie says
Hi Dreena, I am new to your blog, but one of the first things I noted was your pic! When I looked at it, I thought, “yup, here’s this young 20-something person looking fab and all glowing and radiant!” In the back of my mind, I am saying, “gosh, I need to eat as healthy as she is so I can look as good as she looks!” Enough said. Have you ever noticed that so many people just want to pick things/people apart? It’s a self-confidence thing they are battling…if you can’t be happy with yourself, you want everyone else to be miserable as well. You look great Dreena, and you strive to serve your family and yourself the best lifestyle of nutrition and health. Kudos!
Dreena says
Kimmie, if only I weren’t married… 😉 Geez, that’s a lifting thing to hear after some of what I’ve processed this week. I know I’ll never look 20 again, nor should I. I just want to look and feel the best me I can! It’s true that others sometimes want to squash our spirit, thankfully we have many others surrounding us to help us shine again. Thank you, and enjoy checking out my site!
Linda says
Hi Dreena
I am a vegan newbie and a fan of your cookbooks and blog. I too have heart disease in my family and have learned that transformation for a better life begins with what you put on and in your body. Your recipes are not only delicious but incredibly doable which is always key for a mom trying to feed two young kids and a hungry husband! Many thanks for the inspiration- your recipes are truly amazing! And now, after reading your latest blog, I’m convinced our paths were destined to cross.
I’m a consultant with Arbonne International, a 32 year old beauty, health and wellness company. Every Arbonne product is botanically-based, hypoallergenic, ph correct, vegan, and paraben-, phthalate-, and toxin free and dermatologist tested. Its products have been “green” since inception, never tested on animals, PETA-certified and forestry certified. They are pure, safe, ultra premium beauty, health and wellness products at really great prices. These products “weed out the toxic crap and get with the really good stuff”.
Product Plug alert! I’m 53 years young and have a 6 year old girl and a 9 year old boy – needless to say I love Arbonne’s anti-aging RE9 facial goodies- the day and night creams are fabulous! My kids actually ask for the children’s vitamins and the tea tree oil shampoo (anti-tick/lice) is a godsend to mom’s of young kids. Believe it or not, my husband “I don’t do moisturizer” John comes from a family with a long history of factory workers who back in the day used to wash their hands in kerosene -UGH-but true. Anyway, John really likes the men’s skin care line. Now that’s miraculous!!!!
I’d love to send you, and any of your blog followers, samples to try. I’m confident you’ll love them. Please let me know where I can send the samples. In the meantime, check out my website http://LindaLederman.myarbonne.com to view the over 17 different product lines and over 500 products we have to offer. Get ready for my brand to rock you! It’s time to dance!
Looking forward to hearing from you,
All the best,
Linda
Linda Lederman
[email protected]
Dreena says
Hi Linda! Welcome to my site, and thanks for your good words about my books/blog. Coincidentally, I am already an Arbonne consultant. I say consultant, b/c that’s technically how I’m set up with Arbonne, but I have done no consulting or anything other than use the products myself. Just the past 8-9 mo’s or so. I signed up with a local gal, we did preggo yoga some years ago.
Still, my readers may be interested to learn more and connect with you, so thanks for connecting!
Linda says
Many thanks.:)
Linda
p.s. Just ordered your new book- looking forward to continuing my adventures with you!
Dreena says
thank you – hope you love it! 🙂