This past week I did a brief interview for Care2.com, about vegan parenting. With some of the controversy that arose with the “Vegan Is Love” book, I was asked a few questions. They posted the piece yesterday.
Today I read this comment that was posted to the article. This person said:
“What I have noticed most with all the vegans I have met or seen (including the photo of the author of this article) is their skin always looks prematurely wrinkled, extremely thin or exceedingly pale, usually with dark undereye circles, probably from iron deficiency.”
Can I speak to this, folks? I did leave a comment on the article, but really want to elaborate here. That photo was taken as part of a family photo shoot just 2 or 3 weeks after our third baby was born. 3 WEEKS! Anyone that has had children knows that 3 weeks pospartum, you look and feel like crud. And, not only was our baby up about 5 times through the night (and had reflux), I had two other children to take care of during the day – and also had in-laws visiting at the time. So, forgive me if I have dark circles under my eyes and some age-appropriate wrinkles, I had a lot on my proverbial plate. And, I was 39 at the time.
And, I had a few wrinkles. What 39 woman doesn’t? I don’t mean women in Hollywood. On that topic, when Jennifer Lopez was named “the most beautiful woman in the world” last year, I thought “wow, now 40 year old women have that standard to live up to“.
She doesn’t look 40 on this cover. I would like to see Jennifer without the special make-up and lighting and photoshop work. I know she is still beautiful, because she IS a beautiful woman. Here, however she looks more like a beautiful 28 year old than 40 year old.
I just need to say this because I’ve been “out there” for more than 10 years now. I know that being a visible spokesperson for living vegan, and being a vegan mom, I will always be judged on my appearance – because my photos are on the internet. It’s very hard, and like I said in my comment, I try to judge my health by how I feel. And most days I feel pretty damn good. Most days. I am a mom of 3 with no extended family support, that is also running her own career without much assistance. So, my days are full-on, and there are no vacations or weekends.
I work hard because I am passionate. But, alas, I am 41, so I won’t look 30. I think I look pretty good for my age, but also I feel very good for my age. (Excepting these occasional judgemental comments, that is.)
As women, we are judged FAR more on our appearance than are men. It is unfortunate that women take so much judgement for how they look – rather than being judged for what they contribute.
Finally, to address the issue of iron. It is a gross misperception that vegans are anemic. It has been shown that “iron deficiency anemia is no more common among vegetarians than among the general population“. If you are eating foods like dark leafy greens (kale, collards, bok choy), beans and nuts and seeds and other varied whole foods, it is not at all difficult to obtain the iron you need on a vegan diet.
(p.s. I write this today not to seek compliments or reassurance – we all enjoy such positive feedback, but that is not my intention. Rather, I want to speak to the unreasonable and unattainable expectations for women as they age – and the equally unfair judgements placed on vegans.)
Rebecca says
Yes, vegan women do age. Yes, we get fat when we eat too much…gasp! Yes (hold onto your hats!), we even eventually DIE! But it’s not so much about how we die – it’s about how we LIVE. Thank you, Dreena, for setting a beautiful example of how to live and how to age with grace. You are beauty in my book.
tina says
There are other factors that go into wrinkles besides diet. Lots of women are ‘mean girls’ & can’t help but tear each other apart to feel better about themselves.
Eve says
Sometimes I wonder if we’re all looking at the same thing — people see what they want to see, I guess! All your photos, including the one in question here, have radiated beauty and good health to my eyes! And — I’m just speculating here — I don’t think we (in North America) are very used to seeing lean people as the norm anymore. There aren’t that many examples of slim adults or kids out there. Quite a few moms with plumper children have asked me if our vegetarian diet is giving my kids “all they need” just because my kids are slim.
Rebecca says
An exhausted new mom myself, I was thinking how fantastic you looked in that photo when I saw it yesterday!
Lisa J says
Women do have impossible standards to which they are held – my body is far from perfect, my life is crazy, my house looks like a tornado went through it more times than not and I’m lucky to balance my checkbook (or come close) every three months. But, I’m happy, I love my life, I’m relativey healthy and I am a hard worker. I have great, well adjusted healthy children and that’s what I focus on – not how cover girl ready I am every moment I run out for something.
Dreena – you are amazing! And beautiful – inside and out. I know many vegetarian / vegan women who are beautiful – some do have more wrinkles but I believe it’s more to do with the fact that they are active, vital, alive people who work hard and play hard. And, probably have a lot of sun exposure along the way. So, I blame that more than food.
Would they rather see women as obese but with that “milky” glow? Hmmm… think not! Comments like these show the writer’s ignorance and misinformed status. I have a few wrinkles myself – but I earned each one of them. And, I am going into my mid/late 40’s kicking and screaming about giving up my youth. BUT… I’m grateful for every blessing in my life.
Go greens!!! And, go Dreena! Thanks for being the voice for so many 🙂