This past week I did a brief interview for Care2.com, about vegan parenting. With some of the controversy that arose with the “Vegan Is Love” book, I was asked a few questions. They posted the piece yesterday.
Today I read this comment that was posted to the article. This person said:
“What I have noticed most with all the vegans I have met or seen (including the photo of the author of this article) is their skin always looks prematurely wrinkled, extremely thin or exceedingly pale, usually with dark undereye circles, probably from iron deficiency.”
Can I speak to this, folks? I did leave a comment on the article, but really want to elaborate here. That photo was taken as part of a family photo shoot just 2 or 3 weeks after our third baby was born. 3 WEEKS! Anyone that has had children knows that 3 weeks pospartum, you look and feel like crud. And, not only was our baby up about 5 times through the night (and had reflux), I had two other children to take care of during the day – and also had in-laws visiting at the time. So, forgive me if I have dark circles under my eyes and some age-appropriate wrinkles, I had a lot on my proverbial plate. And, I was 39 at the time.
And, I had a few wrinkles. What 39 woman doesn’t? I don’t mean women in Hollywood. On that topic, when Jennifer Lopez was named “the most beautiful woman in the world” last year, I thought “wow, now 40 year old women have that standard to live up to“.
She doesn’t look 40 on this cover. I would like to see Jennifer without the special make-up and lighting and photoshop work. I know she is still beautiful, because she IS a beautiful woman. Here, however she looks more like a beautiful 28 year old than 40 year old.
I just need to say this because I’ve been “out there” for more than 10 years now. I know that being a visible spokesperson for living vegan, and being a vegan mom, I will always be judged on my appearance – because my photos are on the internet. It’s very hard, and like I said in my comment, I try to judge my health by how I feel. And most days I feel pretty damn good. Most days. I am a mom of 3 with no extended family support, that is also running her own career without much assistance. So, my days are full-on, and there are no vacations or weekends.
I work hard because I am passionate. But, alas, I am 41, so I won’t look 30. I think I look pretty good for my age, but also I feel very good for my age. (Excepting these occasional judgemental comments, that is.)
As women, we are judged FAR more on our appearance than are men. It is unfortunate that women take so much judgement for how they look – rather than being judged for what they contribute.
Finally, to address the issue of iron. It is a gross misperception that vegans are anemic. It has been shown that “iron deficiency anemia is no more common among vegetarians than among the general population“. If you are eating foods like dark leafy greens (kale, collards, bok choy), beans and nuts and seeds and other varied whole foods, it is not at all difficult to obtain the iron you need on a vegan diet.
(p.s. I write this today not to seek compliments or reassurance – we all enjoy such positive feedback, but that is not my intention. Rather, I want to speak to the unreasonable and unattainable expectations for women as they age – and the equally unfair judgements placed on vegans.)
Rebekah says
Oh my. Dreena, I have always thought you look stunningly gorgeous and healthy, and that photo is no exception. People can be downright thoughtless on the Internet. You’d never point out someone’s wrinkles in real life, unless you were completely lacking in manners and common courtesy.
I do think it is a topic worthy of being addressed, as people seem to be quick to say “oh look at this or that flaw, must be the Vegan diet.” It’s like if you aren’t some person’s ideal of perfection…a bit too fat or too thin, not glowing enough that day, not muscular enough, too pale…the diet takes the blame. Meat eaters don’t seem to get that as much…they’re pale because of lack of sunshine, not muscular because they don’t lift weights, and that high cholesterol? That’s just hereditary, right? 😉
Julie says
I’m glad you said something in your defense (and in defense of all women). Hey, it’s okay not to wear a ton of makeup and also, not photoshop an image. It’s refreshing actually. All I’m focused on in your photo is your smile and rosy cheeks, you look happy and youthful!
Anne says
Hi Dreena,
I think you look great in that photo! You don’t have anything to be self-conscious about at all. It was just an unkind comment. I’m not sure why people are unkind, they lose sight of the fact that a real person is reading the comments.
But all that being said, you look great!
Anne
Steve says
Reminds me of Ashley Judd’s letter:
http://www.thedailybeast.com/articles/2012/04/09/ashley-judd-slaps-media-in-the-face-for-speculation-over-her-puffy-appearance.html
Corrin says
Here’s what I don’t understand, why you would even give credence to this comment when it is clearly untrue? I also find it interesting that you feel insecure enough about your photo that you need to defend it. you’re beautiful, it’s a beautiful photo, let it go. We all age; unless you’re assuming that a vegan diet is some sort of fountain of youth. People will say silly stuff all of the time, as a blogger I am sure you get more than your fair share, but taking a tack to the defensive is not how you win converts. This stuff isn’t deserving of your time or energy…and frankly it isn’t interesting to read.
Dreena says
Corrin, I take the time to reply to it because I think vegans (and women) can be unfairly judged. If they are having a bad day, and look poorly, one might assume it’s “because they are vegan”. Rather than because they’ve just had a wicked day. As an author, I am somewhat of a spokesperson for this lifestyle. So, if I think some assumption or judgement is unfair related to being vegan, I will address it.
Megan says
Well luckily it’s DREENA’S blog and not yours!