Discussing vegan parenting and the notion of “imposing your beliefs” on your children. How is vegan parenting different than any parenting?
Vegan Parenting Update: Since I first posted this, our eldest just moved for university!
I’ve been thinking a lot about being a mom lately. Partly because our eldest is turning eleven this week, and I cannot believe she is growing so quickly (don’t all moms say that? It’s true).
And, partly because this Pregnant Chicken piece brought me back to those ‘new mom’ emotions and experiences – again timely with our daughter’s birthday approaching.
And then this Should Kids Go Vegan? article was circulating. There is a quote in the article, which brings back that tired assumption about vegan diets:
“The main problem I have with this book is that children are impressionable, and this is too sensitive of a topic to have a child read this book,” Nicole German, a registered dietitian in Atlanta, writes on her blog. “It could easily scare a young child into eating vegan, and, without proper guidance, that child could become malnourished.”
Vegan Diet vs. “Normal” Diet
Yes, I suppose without proper guidance a child eating vegan could become malnourished. But so could a child on a meat and dairy-centric diet. Or, that “well-rounded” SAD approach to eating.
How much fibre are they getting on that diet? How much vitamin C? What about phytonutrients? And antioxidants?
Let’s flip that and talk about what most kids ARE getting a lot of on the standard diet…
Cholesterol. Saturated animal fats. Refined sugars. Refined flours. Empty calories. Probably trans fats and artificial colors and flavorings. Wait, you say, they can also get the sugars, white foods, and artificial junk on a vegan diet.
True. Except…
Most people eating vegan are very conscious about their food. We have to be, people are always asking us where we get calcium/protein/iron! 😉
Jokes aside, we tend to become attentive to the nutritional side of eating vegan. And even if they don’t personally, that typically changes with vegan parenting Because when you have a child, everything changes.
It’s not just about you anymore. All of a sudden, there is a small, innocent, vulnerable baby looking up at you. That baby is completely dependent on YOU for their survival and growth… to make choices in their best interest, for their health and well-being.
Vegan Parenting: Any different than ‘omnivore’ parenting?
Parenting is an awesome responsibility, and vegan parenting is one that I did not take lightly.
And, to move away from that one quote in the aforementioned article. I’ve often read, and heard people say: “Aren’t you imposing your beliefs on your children as a vegan?”
Yes. I am. Aren’t you imposing your beliefs as a meat-eater? Don’t we impose all our beliefs on our children, particularly in early, highly developmental years?
From how much tv they watch, which songs they listen to, what school they attend, which activities they are in, what manners they display around the home and in social situations, whether they go to McD’s or some other nutrient-empty fast food joint.
Don’t we all impose our beliefs as parents? At least in early years we do, until they gain more independence to make some of their own judgements and decisions. The only difference is which beliefs and values we are instilling, or imposing.
So, YES, in this role of vegan parenting, I want to impose my beliefs in eating a whole-foods vegan diet on my children. After all, I chose it for myself out of health, why wouldn’t I want my children to similarly benefit?
Of course, I researched the suitability of a vegan diet for children once I became pregnant. I was prudent in making healthy food choices for them.
Vegan Parenting: ah-ha moment!
And you know what? Our three girls value real food. They love our meals. I have even heard this at dinner:
“I am thankful mommy decided to eat vegan and feed us this healthy, yummy food“.
I am not kidding. And my kids are not angels. (I’ll save that for another post.) 🤣
But I am telling you, as a kid that grew up eating junk it took years to retrain my palate. Food habits – and preferences – start early.
I started with whole-foods plant-powered diet, and am optimistic that our girls will continue on this health- and compassion-promoting diet. So teach ’em wisely, teach ’em early, I say.
What about you – are you beginning or immersed in vegan parenting? Were you raised eating vegan or vegetarian foods? What is your take on this article and the notion of “imposing your vegan beliefs”?
bitt says
Appreciate your insights as always, Dreena. It’s so helpful to have your voice out there as an experienced vegan mom. I agree we all impose our beliefs on our children, great point.
Jen says
I want my son (9) to be vegan, but I didn’t want to force it on him, lest he rebel. AND he is so, so, so, PICKY and STUBBORN that if I just took away meat, cheese and dairy, he’d eat bread all day. However, I did have him watch Meet Your Meat with me, and we still hang out with the vegans in our community and eat at vegan restaurants & buy the food at stores is because I don’t think that the ignorance that I grew up with (as a young person in the 60s and 70s) is right. Or healthy.
The main reason I try to feed him as many vegan things as possible is that I don’t want him to have to “undo” a lifetime of meat-eating like I did. That’s what makes it hard. Those ingrained habits and lifelong tastes. I have spent SO much time undoing the things that were “taught” to me by adults; I don’t want it to be that hard for him.
Dreena says
Jen, it is quite a challenge to ‘undo’ unhealthy dietary habits, as you point out. Like you, I also had to retrain my palate. Great that you are exposing your son to healthier options and informed choices. Children are smart, and often make conclusions without us having to force or spell things out. Good luck.
Paul says
Hi Dreena. Thanks for the blog and for the yummy recipes!
My wife and I watched “Forks over Knives” about 8 months ago and have been eating plant-based whole foods ever since. She’s an amazing chef and has tried many of your excellent recipes. We have three small children and may have more, and they mostly adhere to the diet too (with some exceptions when they’re at parties/friends/grandparents).
Some recent advice and reading I’ve done has made me think it would be good to try for a month or so incorporating back into our family’s diet eggs once a week and fish once a week. In particular, check out the NY Times discussion on vegan diets here:
http://www.nytimes.com/roomfordebate/2012/04/17/is-veganism-good-for-everyone/a-choice-with-definite-risks
I’d like to try this modification (add back in some eggs and fish, once a week) for a month to see how it goes, but my wife is reluctant to do so. She has drunk the Kool-Aid, er Coconut Milk, and says we don’t need any eggs or fish. I assume you agree whole-heartedly with her conclusion, but I thought I’d ask your advice anyway.
So, could you offer some advice? In particular, would you mind “debunking” Nina Planck’s NYT article for me?
Thanks for your thoughts!
Dreena says
Hi Paul, thanks for commenting, and for your good words about my recipes too. The way I see it, while we are in the minority with this diet as vegans, we will always have to ‘defend’ it in one way or another. This isn’t the first article by Nina, she wrote one in ’07 which I addressed on my blog here: http://vivelevegan.blogspot.ca/2007/05/death-not-by-veganism.html and here: http://vivelevegan.blogspot.ca/search?q=nina+planck
With articles like Nina’s (and similar), we never quite know what the agenda is, and whether there is any ‘behind the scenes’ support from animal agriculture. Given the vegan diet has grown significantly in popularity in just the last couple of years, one has to wonder.
Outside of the Nina issue, the American Dietetic Association has endorsed the vegan diet, and there are numerous articles and research available on pcrm.org concerning health risks for children that consume animal products, and the health benefits of eating vegan.
I understand your concerns, and I started raising our first daughter on a vegan diet 11 years ago when much less support and awareness was available. Ultimately as parents we have to do what we think is right. Perhaps with more time under your belt as a vegan, and with further reading/research, you will feel more comfortable with your plant-powered choices!
I wish you luck and hope to bring you more healthy and delicious recipes to help support your journey. 🙂
lionnfoothills says
I was vegetarian early in my adult years for a period of 7 years until I became pregnant with a higher multiple pregnancy and became convinced I “had” to eat meat to create 3 babies. I didnt have internet (back then LOL) and returned to a carnivores eating habits.
I have had our family very close to a plant based diet several times over the last 20 years but was always swayed either by my husband or one of my children in particular to at least eat lean meats. I couldn’t buy it because I would become physically ill standing at the meat counters so it came into our presence by someone else. Others preparing it 90% of the time as well.
Since changing my living arrangements over the last 3 years there has been less and less meat in our household. I have been moving closer and closer to vegetarian ever since and eating very little meat.
I was able to see “Forks Over Knives” about 2 weeks ago and my mind has forever changed! I will never be anything other than a plant eater ever again and 2 of my children feel exactly the same way.
I feel that I do need to influence them. If they were younger I would still feel the same. I agree with the points you made. My 12 yr old stopped eating school lunch months ago due to the quality and is determined to be a plant eater from now on as well. He was truly moved by the documentary and I am very proud of him!
Keep up the good work!!
Dreena says
Indeed FOK has been a game changer for many. It can very hard to make choices that are against mainstream views, especially diet which is also rooted in tradition and has emotional connections for us. Good for you in making recent changes that will benefit your health. Sounds like your 12 year old is wise for his years as well, deciding to forego school lunches. Smart choice!! I wish you the best with your plant-powered journey, and hope to help you on the way. Hurrah for you!
El says
The world is truly diverse, from family to family. As you mention in your post, YES, we have a great influence over our children. There is an all important reason for this. Children are not able to make sound decisions for themselves without tools. Parents influence their children in many ways, religion, nutrition or the lack there of, clothing styles, what is and is not important in life, how to be loving, kind and compassionate or not. This is the role of anyone who has any influence on a child’s life. It is silly to use a child as an excuse to attack a lifestyle especially when it is clear that those who have chosen true wealth ((Health)) as a top priority. We are no longer competing with the Jones’s. We no longer have inverted values and place a high priority on the over all wellness of our family, we are also choosing to be the change we wish to see in this world. Great spirits have always found violent opposition from mediocre minds. The latter cannot understand it when a wo.man does not thoughtlessly submit to hereditary prejudices and cultural traditions.
Most people go on living their everyday life: half frightened, half indifferent, they behold the ghostly tragi-comedy that is being performed on the international stage before the eyes and ears of the world.
Only one who devotes himself to a cause with his whole strength and soul can be a true master. For this reason mastery demands all of a person. Find in Peace in knowing you have done that ! Love is …
Dreena says
El, thanks for sharing your thoughts and kind words. Indeed it is our parental responsibility to make decisions for our children, and then to help guide them to make decisions for themselves. And, we hope to make the most suitable and best decisions as we can as parents, as hard as those choices might be at any given time.