Discussing vegan parenting and the notion of “imposing your beliefs” on your children. How is vegan parenting different than any parenting?
Vegan Parenting Update: Since I first posted this, our eldest just moved for university!
I’ve been thinking a lot about being a mom lately. Partly because our eldest is turning eleven this week, and I cannot believe she is growing so quickly (don’t all moms say that? It’s true).
And, partly because this Pregnant Chicken piece brought me back to those ‘new mom’ emotions and experiences – again timely with our daughter’s birthday approaching.
And then this Should Kids Go Vegan? article was circulating. There is a quote in the article, which brings back that tired assumption about vegan diets:
“The main problem I have with this book is that children are impressionable, and this is too sensitive of a topic to have a child read this book,” Nicole German, a registered dietitian in Atlanta, writes on her blog. “It could easily scare a young child into eating vegan, and, without proper guidance, that child could become malnourished.”
Vegan Diet vs. “Normal” Diet
Yes, I suppose without proper guidance a child eating vegan could become malnourished. But so could a child on a meat and dairy-centric diet. Or, that “well-rounded” SAD approach to eating.
How much fibre are they getting on that diet? How much vitamin C? What about phytonutrients? And antioxidants?
Let’s flip that and talk about what most kids ARE getting a lot of on the standard diet…
Cholesterol. Saturated animal fats. Refined sugars. Refined flours. Empty calories. Probably trans fats and artificial colors and flavorings. Wait, you say, they can also get the sugars, white foods, and artificial junk on a vegan diet.
True. Except…
Most people eating vegan are very conscious about their food. We have to be, people are always asking us where we get calcium/protein/iron! 😉
Jokes aside, we tend to become attentive to the nutritional side of eating vegan. And even if they don’t personally, that typically changes with vegan parenting Because when you have a child, everything changes.
It’s not just about you anymore. All of a sudden, there is a small, innocent, vulnerable baby looking up at you. That baby is completely dependent on YOU for their survival and growth… to make choices in their best interest, for their health and well-being.
Vegan Parenting: Any different than ‘omnivore’ parenting?
Parenting is an awesome responsibility, and vegan parenting is one that I did not take lightly.
And, to move away from that one quote in the aforementioned article. I’ve often read, and heard people say: “Aren’t you imposing your beliefs on your children as a vegan?”
Yes. I am. Aren’t you imposing your beliefs as a meat-eater? Don’t we impose all our beliefs on our children, particularly in early, highly developmental years?
From how much tv they watch, which songs they listen to, what school they attend, which activities they are in, what manners they display around the home and in social situations, whether they go to McD’s or some other nutrient-empty fast food joint.
Don’t we all impose our beliefs as parents? At least in early years we do, until they gain more independence to make some of their own judgements and decisions. The only difference is which beliefs and values we are instilling, or imposing.
So, YES, in this role of vegan parenting, I want to impose my beliefs in eating a whole-foods vegan diet on my children. After all, I chose it for myself out of health, why wouldn’t I want my children to similarly benefit?
Of course, I researched the suitability of a vegan diet for children once I became pregnant. I was prudent in making healthy food choices for them.
Vegan Parenting: ah-ha moment!
And you know what? Our three girls value real food. They love our meals. I have even heard this at dinner:
“I am thankful mommy decided to eat vegan and feed us this healthy, yummy food“.
I am not kidding. And my kids are not angels. (I’ll save that for another post.) 🤣
But I am telling you, as a kid that grew up eating junk it took years to retrain my palate. Food habits – and preferences – start early.
I started with whole-foods plant-powered diet, and am optimistic that our girls will continue on this health- and compassion-promoting diet. So teach ’em wisely, teach ’em early, I say.
What about you – are you beginning or immersed in vegan parenting? Were you raised eating vegan or vegetarian foods? What is your take on this article and the notion of “imposing your vegan beliefs”?
mattheworbit says
Ahhhh.. Well, at the risk of having unpopular opinions..
Preface: I’m not a health professional, and can’t give health advice. Everything following this is my opinion.
I really do believe that a vegan diet is one of the healthiest ways of eating possible – if you make sure you’re following what science says with regard to our health. I think it’s also very easy to be an unhealthy vegan, or a healthy vegan who isn’t meeting all of their dietary needs. You can’t just take the animal products out of your diet and continue eating potatoes and carrots!
If you’re doing it well – veganism is great. But if you’re not, it can have pretty dire consequences (i.e. b12 deficiency). One of the “benefits” of eating meat – I realise there are lots of cons as well (plus I think it’s unnecessary and unethical) is that it’s a concentrated source of vitamins/nutrients for people who don’t eat well. Some would say – too concentrated (which is why people following the SAD often end up unhealthy). But it’s a bandaid. It’s not great for longer term health, due to the lack of fibre, range of vitamins, etc. But it generally gets people through better in the meantime, than a crappily planned vegan diet.
It’s almost like, if you’re going to become ill as an omnivore or vegan, being an omnivore is most likely to cause illness via excess in some ways, while being a vegan is likely to cause illness due to deficiency. But they both flip/flop. We get a lot more other compounds, antioxidants, and a broader range of vitamins in a healthy vegan diet.
Sadly, I feel as though there has been a lot of propaganda and bias on both sides of the argument – from the vegan side (vegan “health professionals” saying that b12 is not necessary, it’s “impossible to get enough protein” – completely untrue – etc) and from the meat and livestock association side of things (everything else.. being vegan makes you unhealthy, etc, etc).
I take my health advice from VeganHealth.org, from Jack Norris and Ginny Messina – because I believe that they’ve shown through their actions that they promote the unbiased scientific truth, they’re willing to admit new information, and they want people to be healthy – even if being vegan isn’t always the easiest option.
Regardless of whether being vegan is always the easiest option (I still think it’s pretty darn easy, and rewarding) – it’s the option I’ve chosen. And will continue to choose.
With regard to parenting:
Every person makes choices that they think are best for them, their family, and the world (I hope). And obviously, the best choices you make for yourself are the choices that I’d hope you make for your children.
Being vegan can be healthy, science has told us that – so if you’re following the guidelines with your children and ensuring health, I can’t see a problem. Whether it works for everyone, however, has yet to be seen. But you have to be honest with yourself, and hope your ethics can be in accordance with what your body needs for optimal health.
Every parent “imposes” their blueprint on children – whether that’s morals, religion, dietary/social choices/opinions, way of life, or even the way you dress, etc – psychology has shown us that the way we grow up influences us hugely, both indirectly and directly.
As a parent, it’s your responsibility to do what you think is best for your children, and your family. That’s the first rule of parenting. You’ve got the power, and the influence – that’s why you’re the parent. It’s your responsibility to teach your children morals, and to think for themselves.
I think that would be my primary concern. It’s our responsibility to equip ourselves with unbiased, broad-ranging, up to date information about a healthy diet, and continue to be honest with ourselves if things aren’t working.. But if my child can be healthy being vegan (which I think in most cases, they could – and even be healthier than as an omnivore), then that’s the choice I’d make.
If your child, however, decides when they’re an adult that being vegan isn’t right for them – then I hope people can respect that. I know I’d be terribly disappointed – but if you’ve taught them to think for themselves and to respect life, you’ve got to respect their right to think for themselves. I hope parents would love their children regardless.
Sorry for the rant!
mattheworbit says
And I should add…
Unfortunately, I do see a lot of unhealthy vegans. And my partner (who works at a vegan store), had someone come in the other day asking what they can give to “fatten up” their 1 year old child, because the child was extremely underweight. Terrifying. Absolutely terrifying. Health comes first. Give that child what it needs to survive, and get some professional help – don’t be giving it coconut oil, avocado and nut butter. Well do, while you panic and seek further, professional help.
Sadly, a lot of vegetarians and vegans mean well, but don’t take the time to look into the science to get it right. They continue to live on the “healthy foods” that are pushed to omnivores – greens, etc – but they don’t think about the protein or variety side of things. If you’re looking in the mirror and you’re pale, exhausted, and your hair is falling out – admit it’s not working! It’s not “detoxing from animal foods”. It’s a problem! Get help!
If veganism isn’t working for you or your child, your health isn’t worth the risk – seek professional help – try to sort out the problems, and improve it. But if you can’t do it, you can’t do it. And children need our help to survive, so be brave enough to admit if something’s not working…
But ultimately, vegan for the win! But try to inform yourself. Dreena’s second book has great information on how to raise a healthy vegan child.
TrulyScrumptious says
Right, because omnivore kids are NEVER underweight. Definitely terrifying, since the parents were vegan (ergo the child’s low weight must be caused by their veganism).
Oh, wait.
http://www.chwo-foundation.org/causes-of-a-child-being-underweight.htm
http://pubs.ext.vt.edu/348/348-271/348-271.html
http://www.babycenter.com/0_helping-a-child-whos-underweight_64368.bc
http://www.feeding-underweight-children.com/
Huh. None of those links mention veganism as a possible cause.
What’s “terrifying” is that you/your wife diagnosed the cause as veganism without being doctors yourselves. (I do hope your wife suggested a trip to the pediatrician, and didn’t try to give them advice herself.)
Yes, I agree that there are a lot of uninformed vegans, some of them even parents, but as a group to be terrified about, they’re fairly low on my list. There are more important things to be terrified about.
mattheworbit says
Hi TrulyScumptious, I musn’t have made myself clear – my apologies.
I’ve many vegan friends who have had healthy babies, toddlers, and children – and even a few who have now grown up into healthy vegan adults, which is great! I plan to raise my children vegan, as well.
I’m not saying omnivore kids aren’t ever underweight, I don’t know where you drew that conclusion from.
I’m not going to make any comments about you assuming my partner was “my wife”, or that my partner is female (he’s not), but anyway..
My concern was that a person who had a *vegan* child went into a health food store, asking for vegan food items, and asking advice from someone unqualified to give that advice, rather than going to a nutritionist, or doctor, and seeking professional advice, promptly, rather than coconut oil. Of course my partner told her to seek professional advice.
Hope that clears that up for you!
Dreena says
Matt, don’t apologize, I welcome the discussion and your perspective. With parenting, we can only hope to do our best, guide, love, nurture, and equip our children with good judgement. When they are adults, that’s when they hopefully take the best of what we’ve give them to build the best lives they can. Their choices are their own then, we are here to help them still, but not make decisions for them.
I’m just hoping at least one of them will take on my cooking bug and return some of the meal favors. 🙂
Thank you also for mentioning one of the resources for vegan nutrition, being veganhealth.org.
jackson1250 says
Of course you want to impose your beliefs. Actually, you have no choice in the matter. I can’t visualize you pan frying pork chops for your children or serving them a Coca Cola or a glass of milk to wash down their Big Mac’s.
Lauren M says
Wonderfully written! I laugh at the idea that imposing vegan beliefs on our children is harmful. I had to comment because my oldest, who is 9, says similar things to me. She thanks me for dinners she enjoys and says she’s glad her mom knows how to feed her such healthy, delicious foods. She is very aware of food and comments on what she sees her peers eating: junk, junk and more junk. Fruits and vegetables and whole grains were always a priority when I was growing up, but I ate a lot of meat. As I became an adult and realized I felt like sh!t and that the future was likely to include colon cancer (chronic constipation and IBS does that), heart disease and high blood pressure and cholesteral, I wanted to take control of my health. I’m not 100% vegan as I do consume eggs and fish occasionally, but for my family, dairy = poison and meat = death. Plant-based is the way to go!
Dreena says
Lauren, thanks for commenting, and it’s amazing when our children appreciate wholesome food vs junk, isn’t it?! I see kids eating so much junk out at activities, parties, at school, etc. And yes – I know, I know – that kids want to have some treats for parties and the like. And that’s fine, but very often the junk at parties is just an extension of their everyday diet. Well done on making changes to improve your own health as well.
Dreena says
plantstrongmama, I appreciate your thoughts on this. You said it with “that is my job as a parent”. You bet. And, this is a very mindful choice for us, rather than being mindless. I think if parents are working their way through drive-thrus they either aren’t thinking about it, or choosing to ignore it.
Thanks for chiming in, and I think you’ll enjoy seeing your wee girl develop and embrace more of her diet as she grows.
JoelleMichelle says
I attempted a plant based diet 2 years ago, it went well for 8 months though there was only one person who was supportive of my choice, my sister in law. Then hubby came home from deployment and I couldn’t follow through with my decision to eat vegan, I used the excuse of not being able to afford two sets of groceries and the excuse that my husband wasn’t supportive.
I discovered Eat to Live by Dr. Joel Fuhrman, and it’s completely changing my life. I’m going to eat a plant powered diet no matter what! My husband is much more supportive now because he does really want me to be healthy. But when it comes to himself and the thought of our future children eating this way, he’s still not on board.
I feel SO lucky to be implementing these healthful habits in my life before bringing new life into the world. My children will eat this way because it will be my duty to protect them and give them the best from life. As for the hubs, I know with tact, patience and perseverance I can convince him this choice for our future kids is the right choice. I pray he will follow my good example some day and join me. Sorry to go on and on, but this is above all else the most important thing in my life, and mix it in with my future babies, its a subject near and dear to my heart!
Dreena says
JoelleMichelle, I’m happy for you to go on and on! I think others will appreciate your viewpoint, as I have never had to manage cooking different for myself and my husband, we’ve made all the dietary changes together. So, I give you a lot of credit for your conviction to continue knowing it’s best for your health, and giving that example to your children. And, as far as your hubs, I always say, “just keep bringing on the tasty food”… it will be hard for him to object. 😉
I wish you luck, and thanks for commenting. 🙂