Today I’m not talking about food or recipes. I want to talk about the new year, and new year’s resolutions, in particular.
Every year it’s the same thing.
Messages to “live it up” through the holidays, indulge in whatever we want. Then, it’s time to make up for those indulgences in the new year. Set things right with New Year’s resolutions, to…
Detox. Do yoga. Lose weight. Eat Clean.
Quit sugar/alchohol/overeating/_____.
Meditate. Volunteer. Hit the gym.
Look better. Do better. Be better.
The assumption is that we haven’t already been working on these things. That it’s “now or never”, rather than appreciating the personal improvements we’ve already made, or the steps we take daily, monthly, or during certain phases of our lives.
We tend to forget some of the accomplishments and improvements we have made in the past year. I have. Haven’t you? Seems we should make a list of these things every month so that we can appreciate them at the close of a year.
I’ve been reflecting these past few weeks. Christmas and the holidays are not always easy for me, and I suspect many moms feel the same. The weeks (and months) leading up to Christmas are mind-boggling. Like a mental marathon of things to keep up with and attend to.
For me, I think there’s another layer. While I love the time I share with my family during the holidays, Christmas itself leaves me feeling a little empty. It might be partially because of my past and sad times through the fall and winter. Those memories and times are not so easy to shake off, even as adults with our own families. Also, because we don’t have extended family gatherings, I guess I have this need to deliver holiday happiness for the girls on Christmas. No pressure, right? 😉 So, yeah, it’s no surprise to me that I can feel a little blue and anxious during the holidays.
New Year’s delivers the same. Again, I love hanging with the family on New Year’s Eve, and creating traditions. But one tradition I don’t enjoy is the looming feeling that we must better ourselves come January 1st. Why?
How about accept where we are come January, and understand it’s part of our life’s journey? Sure, let’s take time to assess new things we’d like to achieve or how we might strive to become healthier and happier. Yet, so many of us feel this need to accomplish one or more of these goals in the very short-term. As in…
Lose any weight that first week? (No? Oh dear.)
Missed 2 days at the gym already? (So much for commitment!)
Off the juice cleanse already? (Where’s the willpower?)
It’s as if we start the New Year telling ourselves we aren’t already good enough. That we must improve. And, if we slip on one of these New Year’s resolutions or goals, then we are already failing in the new year.
When, in reality, another month or day may bring that awareness and ease that stimulates the change we desire. Most of our goals are met in the very long-term, yet our mentality for improvement in the new year is quite short-lived.
I’m done with these “new year, new you” messages. I’m already internalizing these new year expectations and it’s not a good feeling.
I’m a great person, with a good heart. I give and love and do the best I can. Whether January 1st, August 1st, or December 31st. I know I have areas of growth and things I want to change, yet this new year, new you mentality is not supportive.
So, this new year: I’m going to be try to be more at peace with who I am. As I move towards new change, I’ll celebrate the small steps. Whatever day or month. When I slip or feel I’ve let myself down, time to remind myself that this too is part of the journey. Being present brings us more happiness than thinking about what we need to achieve, or ruminating about the past.
I’m not sure where all of you are at this time of the year. But if you’re feeling some of these emotions, you certainly aren’t alone. I invite you to join me, to just breathe and take it one day at a time. Loving who you are the best you can, and celebrating when you do make changes that bring you more happiness – whenever that may be.
I wish you all joy, peace, and love today, and all of this new year.
x Dreena
Michelle says
Thank you for the very meaningful post! I feel such a sense of relief and anticipation for January. Mostly because of the onslaught of November and December. I used to hate those times of year growing up-there was just too much anxiety around family gatherings and fighting. But as a kid you have to repeat that cycle and now that I’m well into adulthood, I have to remind myself that I decide what my holidays are and the responsibility to enjoy them by creating new memories with my husband. It’s a practice of banishing the demons with celebrating reality. Thanks again. xx
samara says
Dear Dreena, thank you for this frank and funny post.
As is clear from the many warm comments you have received, you have plenty of good company in your experience of the festive season. 🙂 I too struggle, and find comfort and solidarity in your words, and those of your lovely commenters.
I so respect your couragousness and kindness, not to mention your amazing ability to create wonderful recipes! You continue to inspire my plant-based living, especially when the going gets tough. I take heart here in your Plant Powered Kitchen, it’s like visiting a friend for tea… sharing a recipe and a story, leaving with a smile on my face. <3
Kelly says
Dreena you could not have said it better – hallelujah! When billions of dollars are spent on self improvement/self help/weight loss etc it speaks volumes on the number of people made to feel they are not good enough. I know I will never be perfect but I am good enough and sometimes great. I plan to forward your post to all my friends and family. 🙂
Sharon says
Dreena,
Thanks so much for this post. I’m 45 too, and have been thinking a lot about how I need to go easier on myself – always trying to do better is tiring!! I’ve been really thinking about how I want to let go of this constant need to be perfect – of course, that’s just trying to do better too, right? : ) I’m not sure where it ends, but reading your post made me feel like I’m on the same journey as many others, and that feels good. From where I’m sitting, you’re doing great – thank you for helping my husband and I continue to raise our daughters as compassionate people (who get to eat DELICIOUS food along the way)!!! YUM! I hope January brings you light (inside and outside – yay, longer days!) and peace and lots of fun with your adorable family. Here’s to living more in the moment!
Sharon
P.S. If you wanted to do a post about how to fight off the colds that your preschool girls bring home – that you can’t seem to shake (endless coughing), I, for one, would welcome it! ; )
Isabelle says
Every once in a while I do the 21 Day Vegan Kickstart. And I am pleased to see that many of your most delicious recipes are included as part of the meal planner.
Congrats.